Well... been real long since i last updated this blog of mine. Think i will write stuff here on and off to keep it alive though this is not my main blog anymore.
Alright... for some recent updates... Havent been a smooth month for me. Firstly, my whole bag was stolen together with my wallet, my ID, my cards, my Hp, IPod while i was running at SP. Didnt knoe who took it and didnt have any hopes that the police will be able to recover any of my stuff back (though i was hoping the one who stole it can at least mail me my ID card but its been almost three wks... sigh). After the stealing incident, i burn a hole in my wallet by getting myself a Samung Omina. My suayness strikes again... 2nd day after i bought the hp, my charger was stolen. Duno how, why it happen... im too depress to even go think abt it.
Been trying to convince myself again and again to think on the better side. Though i should be sad that i lost all my telephone contacts but then apparently im not... maybe its because someone number was gone together with it... maybe its a sign for me to cut off all emotional ties with that someone...... but.... its just my wishful thinking... i left out the fact that tat someone will still be able to contact me and yes... the msg came ytd and duno y it causes me a slight discomfort till now... so here i am blogging abt it cause i need to get this out of my chest coz i cant seem to find someone i feel comfortable to talk to... i dun wish people opinons... i just need a listening ear but i guess its kinda hard to find someone who just listen to all my crap and dun reply...
Sigh... if only i could get rid of the past memories... if only....
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Friday, February 15, 2008
Happy Valentines Day
Well.. as the title states... its Vday again... its been 4 yrs since everything ended and everything seems like it just happened yesterday. Its one of those days that i hated to leave the comfort of my house. But due to toopid assignments, i have to drag myself to national library in the morning.
Reach nlb at 11.30am and went for lunch with ah tan at the usual "ba cho mee" stall. Though im kinda depress since waking up but think i manage to keep a happy face throughout. A lot of stuff happend these 1 or 2 weeks and i think im making a mess out of my life. Im starting to feel confused and duno what i wanted in my life. Stuff flashes through my mind even when i started to do my assignment at lvl 8 of nlb. I tot i have threw my past away but for the whole afternoon it just come back n back. Stuff of how we celebrated all our previous Vdays flashes again n again... the presents she bought for me flashes again n again... the words of how much she loved me keep repeating itself... i hated every moment it... i wanted to concentrate on my assignment... dammed fed up with myself.. hated myself as im putting on smiling face in front of my friends. Really wish theres someone i can talk to but i cant think of anyone tat will understand my suituation. Most people when u talk to them abt these kinda stuff, thier answers more or less are these few lines... " dun think too much abt it"... "cheer up"... "get over it... been over 4 yrs"... bla bla bla...
I have told myself i need to move on and i thought i have done it since january 2008 but after today i think apparently im still kinda locked with my past in some way or other. Friends have told me that time will heal everything and i agreed to a certain extend as feelings for her had died down completely. But though feelings are gone memories remains... and these are the irritating memories that will come and haunt you on these kinda of special days. People i have talk to abt this may think its just me tat refuse to let everything go and trying to find a resonable excuse to lie my way through everything and im starting to feel that they might be true abt it.
Im feeling so confused nowadays... a lot of other stuff that contribute to this but i shall not mention them here in case people i knoe happen to read this post... i'm really feeling very tired abt everything... like everything dont seems to go the right way for me... im tired of playing guessing games. I want to knoe the answer im wanting to knoe all along... but i guess tats not gonna happen..
Nothing good ever comes to my life....
Reach nlb at 11.30am and went for lunch with ah tan at the usual "ba cho mee" stall. Though im kinda depress since waking up but think i manage to keep a happy face throughout. A lot of stuff happend these 1 or 2 weeks and i think im making a mess out of my life. Im starting to feel confused and duno what i wanted in my life. Stuff flashes through my mind even when i started to do my assignment at lvl 8 of nlb. I tot i have threw my past away but for the whole afternoon it just come back n back. Stuff of how we celebrated all our previous Vdays flashes again n again... the presents she bought for me flashes again n again... the words of how much she loved me keep repeating itself... i hated every moment it... i wanted to concentrate on my assignment... dammed fed up with myself.. hated myself as im putting on smiling face in front of my friends. Really wish theres someone i can talk to but i cant think of anyone tat will understand my suituation. Most people when u talk to them abt these kinda stuff, thier answers more or less are these few lines... " dun think too much abt it"... "cheer up"... "get over it... been over 4 yrs"... bla bla bla...
I have told myself i need to move on and i thought i have done it since january 2008 but after today i think apparently im still kinda locked with my past in some way or other. Friends have told me that time will heal everything and i agreed to a certain extend as feelings for her had died down completely. But though feelings are gone memories remains... and these are the irritating memories that will come and haunt you on these kinda of special days. People i have talk to abt this may think its just me tat refuse to let everything go and trying to find a resonable excuse to lie my way through everything and im starting to feel that they might be true abt it.
Im feeling so confused nowadays... a lot of other stuff that contribute to this but i shall not mention them here in case people i knoe happen to read this post... i'm really feeling very tired abt everything... like everything dont seems to go the right way for me... im tired of playing guessing games. I want to knoe the answer im wanting to knoe all along... but i guess tats not gonna happen..
Nothing good ever comes to my life....
Friday, January 18, 2008
Mini holiday and a contridicting me
Been almost 2 weeks since i login to keep track of whats happening in my life. 2 reasons for not logining in.
1) I dun understand y i cant login when im at home... therefore i cant blog when im sitting comfortablably on my bed with my lappy in front of me
2) Kinda busy in office these days... as i could blog when im in office whenever i have the time to spare
Right, quite a lot of stuff happened these 1 and half weeks. As what the title of this post states, im kinda having a mini holiday rite now as i have no classes till next monday. Though my OG mates and me have been exercising a bit these 1 week plus, but i think its not enough. Day by day i see my tummy grow n grow... feel a bit disgusted by it. As much as i want to get rid of it, im simply lazy to exercise, meaning if no one ask me to exercise most likely i will just do nothing. I think im contridicting myself again....
Arghh... sometimes i really feel like im not myself. In front of my friends i may look like im a happy chap or doing crazy stuff but thats not me. I mean im actually a quiet person that like to keep all unhappy stuff to myself, though i doubt anyone who knoes me will agree with what i just typed out (but its true). I like friends around me to be happy, maybe thats the reason i may tend to do stuff to make that possible. Anything im not happy with, be it towards friens or school work, i wont tell anyone but buried everything deep inside me (Hmm... though i do voice out at times). Again, i think im contridicting myself.. sigh. Dun wanna tell people but still will tell them at times. Think im totally a screwed up person that dont even knoe what i want.
Well... time to work again...
1) I dun understand y i cant login when im at home... therefore i cant blog when im sitting comfortablably on my bed with my lappy in front of me
2) Kinda busy in office these days... as i could blog when im in office whenever i have the time to spare
Right, quite a lot of stuff happened these 1 and half weeks. As what the title of this post states, im kinda having a mini holiday rite now as i have no classes till next monday. Though my OG mates and me have been exercising a bit these 1 week plus, but i think its not enough. Day by day i see my tummy grow n grow... feel a bit disgusted by it. As much as i want to get rid of it, im simply lazy to exercise, meaning if no one ask me to exercise most likely i will just do nothing. I think im contridicting myself again....
Arghh... sometimes i really feel like im not myself. In front of my friends i may look like im a happy chap or doing crazy stuff but thats not me. I mean im actually a quiet person that like to keep all unhappy stuff to myself, though i doubt anyone who knoes me will agree with what i just typed out (but its true). I like friends around me to be happy, maybe thats the reason i may tend to do stuff to make that possible. Anything im not happy with, be it towards friens or school work, i wont tell anyone but buried everything deep inside me (Hmm... though i do voice out at times). Again, i think im contridicting myself.. sigh. Dun wanna tell people but still will tell them at times. Think im totally a screwed up person that dont even knoe what i want.
Well... time to work again...
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
New Semester have started
My long awaited day finally arrived yesterday as its the first day of school. This whole holiday seems like a long one for me, doing nothing but routine stuff day in day out. Been feeling very aimless for the last 3 weeks, duno why, just have a feeling that i have nothing to look forward to everyday.
Well, woke up quite early yesterday and left for school. Though i told myself its a new year and i shouldnt be late anymore, im LATE again. (Think im not determined enough). Boarded bus 154 and keep blaming myself for leaving my house so late. But kinda feel glad that i saw cherie and jy boarded the same bus as me on the next bus stop, makes me feel a bit better than theres people who are late also ( Err.. if cherie n jy see this dun mistaken ah... i dun mean it in a bad way). Anyway, all of us decide to crash the morning lecture, though we belong to the afternoon lecture students. We knew crashing morning lecture is gonna be packed but what we saw in the lecture hall was crazy. It was so packed that we had to go to the classroom next to the lecture hall and take chairs and sit beside the lecture hall door (Kinda pathetic thinking about it now). But cant complain much since i'm late as always.
First lecture of the semester was OT. The overseas lecturer was ok but i think she took too long (1 hr plus) to explain to us the course guide. I get to see our local lecturer that day too. Hmm.. lets just call him Mr S, and my first impression about him was nowhere near good. I find that the way he speaks is kinda sacrastic. Hopfully hes not like that when he teaches our lectures 3 weeks later.
Think i should stop myself from complaining too much else this blog will be full of complains and nothing else. Shall stop here for now, not really in the mood for blogging today.
Well, woke up quite early yesterday and left for school. Though i told myself its a new year and i shouldnt be late anymore, im LATE again. (Think im not determined enough). Boarded bus 154 and keep blaming myself for leaving my house so late. But kinda feel glad that i saw cherie and jy boarded the same bus as me on the next bus stop, makes me feel a bit better than theres people who are late also ( Err.. if cherie n jy see this dun mistaken ah... i dun mean it in a bad way). Anyway, all of us decide to crash the morning lecture, though we belong to the afternoon lecture students. We knew crashing morning lecture is gonna be packed but what we saw in the lecture hall was crazy. It was so packed that we had to go to the classroom next to the lecture hall and take chairs and sit beside the lecture hall door (Kinda pathetic thinking about it now). But cant complain much since i'm late as always.
First lecture of the semester was OT. The overseas lecturer was ok but i think she took too long (1 hr plus) to explain to us the course guide. I get to see our local lecturer that day too. Hmm.. lets just call him Mr S, and my first impression about him was nowhere near good. I find that the way he speaks is kinda sacrastic. Hopfully hes not like that when he teaches our lectures 3 weeks later.
Think i should stop myself from complaining too much else this blog will be full of complains and nothing else. Shall stop here for now, not really in the mood for blogging today.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Money Management
As usual, i dragged myself out of bed in what you could call a cloudy morning to go work. Putting that aside, theres something im looking forward to today, which is opening new bank account. I have decided to have better money mangement this year. By opening this new account, i hope that i could achieve this goal. (Just making a note here, i dun really have much money management all these years)
Oh ya, the bank that i chose to put my spare cash in is Standard Charted Bank. Their interest win the rest of the banks in SG hands down with an interest rate of 1.6% p.a and if you deposit cash into the account between january and march this year you will get a high interest of 2.3%!! which i think is a lot compared to other banks. Anyone who happens to read this could go open an account there as i personally think its good (P.s I'm not trying to promote the bank).
Though its just opening of an new bank account, somehow or rather i'm quite excited about it (kinda funny when thinking back now). Was hoping lunch break arrive sooner when i'm doing my routine testing of muvee autoProducer software. At 12.15pm, i rushed to the bank branch located at Selegie to be one of the first of the lunch break crowd going to bank to do personal transactions. Well, 3 little surprises awaits me there.
1st surprise: The bank is NOT crowded. When i saw that, i was telling myself how lucky i am to arrive at a branch that's not crowded. Entered the door, at the que counter a female staff of the bank welcomed me with a bright smile and offered her assistance to me. Oh man, that smile and politeness really brighten your day (though its already noon). But that was short lived.
2nd surprise: Got my que number and i glanced at the que board. Good, 2 more people before my turn. Make myself comfortable on the spacious sofa and waited... and waited... and waited... AND WAITED.... a total of 35mins.... and theres 9 counters there. I couldnt believe it.. how slow the staff take to process things there... i mean if im not rushing for time there n then i wouldnt have make such a big fuss over it but i got limited lunch break time to bank my money and have my lunch. While sitting there, i keep thinking of the reason why its so slow, maybe the person in front of me is investing big amount of cash etc... (im just finding excuses to make me feel better)...
then came the 3rd surprise....
3rd surprise: Finally my turn came at long last, went into one of the counters and sat down. The same female staff that greeted me sat down and process my application. I was thinking finally i can get it over with and have my lunch (all the excitment i had in the morning was long gone). While she was processing my application, i noticed that she didnt knoe what to do with the computer, like what to key in n stuff. From that, i guessed that shes new to this job. She took my IC and trial and error on the system. What surprise me most is that her collegues were free and around her but none came up to offer help. (She didnt ask for their help though) Normally, opening an account will take probably 15mins at most but it took me more than 2 times the time needed. I just dun understand why no one came to help, i mean they are collegues rite? arent collegues suppose to help each other when they knoe shes in difficulty?
Anyway, though it took me 1 and a half hours to complete the whole new account thing, i'm kinda satisfied with the customer service i got from the female staff that greeted me and process my application ( Not because shes pretty.... coz i can see shes trying hard to do things rite)
I knoe... i knoe... i'm contradicting myself in this entire post but thats just how i feel of this whole "event" that happen to me today. And i think most people out there contradict themselves at times too... its just part and parcel of being a human being living on planet earth.
Oh ya, the bank that i chose to put my spare cash in is Standard Charted Bank. Their interest win the rest of the banks in SG hands down with an interest rate of 1.6% p.a and if you deposit cash into the account between january and march this year you will get a high interest of 2.3%!! which i think is a lot compared to other banks. Anyone who happens to read this could go open an account there as i personally think its good (P.s I'm not trying to promote the bank).
Though its just opening of an new bank account, somehow or rather i'm quite excited about it (kinda funny when thinking back now). Was hoping lunch break arrive sooner when i'm doing my routine testing of muvee autoProducer software. At 12.15pm, i rushed to the bank branch located at Selegie to be one of the first of the lunch break crowd going to bank to do personal transactions. Well, 3 little surprises awaits me there.
1st surprise: The bank is NOT crowded. When i saw that, i was telling myself how lucky i am to arrive at a branch that's not crowded. Entered the door, at the que counter a female staff of the bank welcomed me with a bright smile and offered her assistance to me. Oh man, that smile and politeness really brighten your day (though its already noon). But that was short lived.
2nd surprise: Got my que number and i glanced at the que board. Good, 2 more people before my turn. Make myself comfortable on the spacious sofa and waited... and waited... and waited... AND WAITED.... a total of 35mins.... and theres 9 counters there. I couldnt believe it.. how slow the staff take to process things there... i mean if im not rushing for time there n then i wouldnt have make such a big fuss over it but i got limited lunch break time to bank my money and have my lunch. While sitting there, i keep thinking of the reason why its so slow, maybe the person in front of me is investing big amount of cash etc... (im just finding excuses to make me feel better)...
then came the 3rd surprise....
3rd surprise: Finally my turn came at long last, went into one of the counters and sat down. The same female staff that greeted me sat down and process my application. I was thinking finally i can get it over with and have my lunch (all the excitment i had in the morning was long gone). While she was processing my application, i noticed that she didnt knoe what to do with the computer, like what to key in n stuff. From that, i guessed that shes new to this job. She took my IC and trial and error on the system. What surprise me most is that her collegues were free and around her but none came up to offer help. (She didnt ask for their help though) Normally, opening an account will take probably 15mins at most but it took me more than 2 times the time needed. I just dun understand why no one came to help, i mean they are collegues rite? arent collegues suppose to help each other when they knoe shes in difficulty?
Anyway, though it took me 1 and a half hours to complete the whole new account thing, i'm kinda satisfied with the customer service i got from the female staff that greeted me and process my application ( Not because shes pretty.... coz i can see shes trying hard to do things rite)
I knoe... i knoe... i'm contradicting myself in this entire post but thats just how i feel of this whole "event" that happen to me today. And i think most people out there contradict themselves at times too... its just part and parcel of being a human being living on planet earth.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
First Post
Well, finally decided to create a blog for myself today. The reason for not creating it till now was that im just plain LAZY to write diary and find that its a hassle to maintain it. Anyway, its finally 2008 and i've decided to have a fresh new start at everything, may it be studies, attitude towards life or relationship bla bla bla...
Honestly speaking, i felt kinda weird now. I mean i feel like im talking to myself, but i guess will get used to it when i started to post more (Wonder how other bloggers feel when they first started to blog).
Ok then. This is my first post, and i dont intend to make it a long one as im blogging now in my office. Nothing fantistic happen today except that its a cloudy/rainy day again. As usual, i drag myself to work. Recently i found that i have very little motivation to go work and this feeling just gets worse and worse each working day. Various reasons like work too routine, lack of challeges or i have reached a stagnant point in my job (this is what my collegues told me, watever that means...) may consitute to this. The only thing that keeps me going is the money factor.
Hmm.. guess shall stop here for now first. Shall continue when i reach home later.
Honestly speaking, i felt kinda weird now. I mean i feel like im talking to myself, but i guess will get used to it when i started to post more (Wonder how other bloggers feel when they first started to blog).
Ok then. This is my first post, and i dont intend to make it a long one as im blogging now in my office. Nothing fantistic happen today except that its a cloudy/rainy day again. As usual, i drag myself to work. Recently i found that i have very little motivation to go work and this feeling just gets worse and worse each working day. Various reasons like work too routine, lack of challeges or i have reached a stagnant point in my job (this is what my collegues told me, watever that means...) may consitute to this. The only thing that keeps me going is the money factor.
Hmm.. guess shall stop here for now first. Shall continue when i reach home later.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)